I Can, I Will and I AM!

Focus.  Determination.  Positive Thinking.  Never Give Up.  The body can achieve what the mind believes.  One more time, the last time, I will lose the weight once and for all and keep it off.  I want to not only live to see my grandchildren, but to be able to hold them and play with them.  No more wheelchairs, no more oxygen concentrators.  No more depending on someone else for my basic daily needs.  I can, I will and I am going to do this!

Death changes people.  When my mother died in 1976, I was 23 years old, I was a hairdresser, managing a beauty salon in Houston.  I was in a dead marriage.  Losing my mother forced me to take a hard look at my life and re-evaluate where I was and where I wanted to go.  I did not want to end up as miserable as my mother was.  So I went back to college to get a degree in something that I could make more money at without standing on my feet all day.  And the rest, they say, is history.  Five years later I lost my dad.  This time I was a technician at Apple Computer.  I wanted to be an engineer but did not have a bachelor’s degree so was being denied the promotion.  My dad had always wanted to be an engineer but due to family responsibilities he never took the time off work to take the required classes to get his engineer’s license.  So in his honor, I spent almost a year fighting with HR at Apple to become the first technician to ever be promoted to engineer.  Fast forward to the present.  When I looked at my beautiful sister in her casket a few weeks ago, besides the overwhelming grief and mourning I was feeling, my next thoughts were “I’m next”.  I AM NOT READY TO DIE!  I DON’T WANT TO BE IN ONE OF THOSE BOXES YET!

So again with the soul searching.  The re-evaluating.  Taking a long hard look at myself.  My life has been reasonably comfortable lately.  I am very grateful and thankful.  I have a good job.  A nice home.  Two wonderful sons.  Two gorgeous fur babies.  I enjoy my work for the most part.  I go home and have no one to answer to.  I can do pretty much whatever I want.  Except for one glaring problem.  I am obese.  Along with that comes diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, as well as worsening of fibromyalgia and restrictive lung disorder.   I had given up.  I thought there was no way to fix it.  I had accepted that I was going down hill and could not reverse the process.  But guess what?  I have never given up or backed down from a fight in my life.  And I am not about to start now!  There is a Tom Petty song that rings in my head when I am in the throes of battle – “You can stand me up at the gates of hell but I won’t back down”.

So here we go again.  One more battle, one more time of fighting the obesity demon.  I know what works.  In 2010 I went raw, organic, vegetarian and lost 85 lbs.  I was walking around stores (have not been in a store in 3 years).  I no longer needed supplemental oxygen.  My pain was dramatically less.  No diabetes, no high blood pressure.  So this time has to be different.  This time has to be for good.  Plant based diets are not only the healthiest but they resonate with my highest good.  My diet must consist entirely of vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds.  And no matter how bad it hurts, or how out of breath I get, I must exercise.  So twenty minutes every night on my exercise bike.  So far. so good.  Eight days under my belt.  One day at a time.  One meal at a time.  One workout at a time.

Anyone want to join me on this journey to health?  Feel free to leave comments or feedback.  I can use the encouragement and love to help others achieve their dreams.  I am just not that good at taking my own advice sometimes.  But this time I Can, I Will and I AM doing this!

I have also been writing about all I have learned on how to stay positive and overcome adversity.  My passion is helping people live a life of joy.  If you need a kick in the butt or just some insights into how to stay positive and thankful, check out my books.  Available as ebooks or paperbacks.  http://gloriavester.com.

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