After 3 months of unemployment, and facing forced early retirement, I got the final approval for an income restricted, 55+ apartment community. But instead of being happy, I cried most of the afternoon. Even though this is only for one year, I still can’t imagine walking away from my beautiful home that I love so much and moving into senior housing. I know it is the sensible thing to do, but this house is the culmination of 50 years of blood, sweat and tears. I worked so hard, and pushed through so much pain and fatigue over the years, prior to going vegan, to keep working, keep getting promotions, to make enough money to afford a house like this. When I moved in here I truly believed this was my forever home. Everything in my soul is telling me to stay here, not sell my home, that I can find a job and keep my home. But the reality is that no one hires people over 65.
I have always been so strong, and so independent, and so much a “you can do anything you put your mind to” kind of person. I can do this! I have to figure out the logistics of this transition. So much packing to do, so much planning to do. I need to schedule the movers. I need to be sure I have help the day of the move to setup my computers and TV. Whatever day me and the cats move, I need my computer, my TV and my Internet. I have to get the utilities setup, Internet arranged, change of address done.
I am going to improve my attitude, stop crying, pull up my big girl panties, suck it up, and do what has to be done. Just not sure that is going to be today. I am not my usual positive self today, just feeling very fragile and broken right now.
Stay tuned for the next chapter in the ongoing saga of my life. Once I am settled in my new apartment, and this house is sold, I will begin the next journey of planning and building a tiny house to spend my retirement years in. It will be a very interesting and exciting journey. I just need to get from here to there…….